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The Biggest Little Scumbag in the Game

June 27th, 2007 | By: Carter Daly | 56 Comments »

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I hate Lionel Messi with a fiery passion that haunts my soul at night.

It’s true.

Many say he is the next big thing, the next Maradonut, and that is only where his problems begin. First off there is nothing big about Messi at all. His height (5′7″) at this stage in his life legally qualifies him for all of the benefits of a garden gnome. He seems to take this stuff awfully serious too. He looks at the pillar of health that Maradona is as his role model and idol. Now I know sometimes it is hard to find good role models, but you gotta do better than that pal. Today hand ball goals, tomorrow, a cocaine induced heart attack.

(”When I grow up, I want to be a washed up cocaine burnout just like you!”)

It started with an ok goal against Getafe in the cup, but then, as I knew it would, lead to more serious issues. Case and point the disturbing disgrace (kind of like Messi himself) of the handball goal on the most pivotal day in La Liga. At one point it looked like that “little cheater” as the Gol TV announcer referred to him (I prefer shrimpy diving dirtball) would have won the title.

(Ronaldihno - “Get this nancy boy away from me!”)

Or how about his swan dive against Chelsea in the champion’s league that would make Greg Louganis smile. Wasn’t that great? No. I have never seen a “great player” use the tactic of “Oh I will leave my feet like the ballerina reject that I am, than proceed to jump into the defender, while of course looking very brave in the fetal position, then I continue the presentation with the dramatic fall of a guy who was just took six bullets to the frontal lobe. After I have caused myself and my family this great embarrassment, I will cap it off by slowly rolling to the touch line with my face covered so they can’t see me laughing until I almost take out the legs of the refs assistant, this way he will know that I really got ‘hurt’ this time”.

Clearly still acting. Why does he take it this far?
(Clearly still acting. Why must he take it so far?)

By the way that is a direct quote from Messi after the incident. I think those files were destroyed though as to protect the source. The special one Jose Mourhino put it best when he said, “Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting.”

Why do I bring all of this up you ask? Well none other than Bob’s boys will be taking on this tiny Tinkerbelle in the first game of the Copa America, and I want to send a direct message to those that wear the stars and stripes…

Take his tiny ass out. He’ll get most of the going down part done himself, but get a good lick in. That means you Rico.

Tags: Cheaters, Copa America, Diego Maradona, Divers, Lionel Messi

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Comments

Displaying the most recent 25 comments from a total of 56 comments.

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By kipzy | June 27th, 2007 at 12:30 pm

empalamiento para este muchacho en la 3ª base de una cancha de NY.. (?)

By chuck | June 27th, 2007 at 12:49 pm

Your hate will not keep you warm at night.

I have a confession. I used to hate a different teenager with world-class talent: C.Ronaldo.

It seemed like whenever got within an arm’s length of him, he would dive.

But now, it appears that he has changed.

It is going to be an absolute joy watching him, as well as L.Messi, compete at the highest levels for the next 10-12-15 years.

Posted from United States

By ashudamistermusculo | June 27th, 2007 at 1:04 pm

Mueransé yanquis y la puta que los parió a todos.
Qué carajo saben de futbol usteden saqueadores y terroristas de mierda. Sigan hinchando las pelotas…ya nos vamos a encontrar.
Aplaudan aplaudan no dejen de aplaudir los aviones de Bin Laden que ya van venir.

Posted from Argentina

By Albo | June 27th, 2007 at 1:43 pm

Carter, aren’t you the same blogger who entitled a thread “I am an idiot” ?

Do you have any more ideas on how the fill up the web with trash?

Posted from United States

By Uche | June 27th, 2007 at 2:13 pm

Oh my, I think I just split my sides. The stream of Spanish abuse in these comments is an impressive mix of the hilarious and the blood-curdling. Seriously, I’ve always known Spanish was a great language for invective, but this is all just too delicious.

Carter, man, thanks. By playing piñata, you pretty much helped make my day.

By Carter | June 27th, 2007 at 5:49 pm

Albo: To answer your questions..yes and yes.

Uche: Anytime pal

Posted from United States

By gilbo | June 27th, 2007 at 7:03 pm

this post is fcking pathetic, stupid ashole CARTER, you should be ban from this site yankee puto loser

By Joe | June 27th, 2007 at 7:03 pm

Weak. Who put this guy in charge of the U.S.A. blog? All we’ve gotten so far is cliched red-blooded American hoo-ha.

And asking the players of your own team, whether in jest or not, to intentionally hurt another player is just classless.

The USMNT is getting better. Why’s this blog getting worse?

Posted from United States

By Native Son | June 27th, 2007 at 7:19 pm

Ok guys,

Enough with Carter.

Just leave the poor harpless soul alone.

He said that he was just joking. Joking?

I am not very convinced about that reading from his invective towards Messi but that said, let’s not beat on him like a rented mule.

I don’t speak Spanish and therefore do not know what most Argentineans said to Carter. I however hope it wasn’t too harsh. It is football afterall, the most beautiful game in the world that attracts a viewership of about 2 billion people during the World Cup. Nothing comes close.

Mr. Carter, no hard feelings.

Posted from United States

By Albo | June 27th, 2007 at 7:34 pm

Carter, I think you should apologize for what you’ve said above.
Thanks for your consideration.

Posted from United States

By Laurie | June 27th, 2007 at 8:37 pm

Your photo captions made me giggle.

Posted from United States

By Thierry | June 27th, 2007 at 10:40 pm

Carter,
Thanks you made me lol a lot. Great grace with your humor.
To the argentinians fans: don t take it seriously, it s a joke.
I must admit the argies commentaries made me giggle too. I don t know if you speak spanish Carter, but the less i could say is that they were passionate. They talked about rumors on the work of “your mothers”, and an inextricable and mysterious link behind them, Kobi Brian, G W Bush(the great), and you with some … how could i say…guess on your sexuality. All these beautiful and imaginative hints reffered to the historical smashing activities of the roman orgies.
I salute you all, you were the smile of my day.
P.S: The Kipzy Blog is very cool.

Posted from France

By mightie | June 28th, 2007 at 2:22 am

carter,
so you find fault in everything messi does what an ignorant u r.
messi’s wonderful goal against getafe which is ok for you… LOL!
there is no need to argue on this coz i can understand ur mental status LOL!
anyway no one cares what a retard thinks, keep it up there will be lot of messis coming to give u nightmares.
GOOOOO MEEESSSIIIII

Posted from United Arab Emirates

By Alexa | June 28th, 2007 at 5:24 am

Just a little aside –

If you ever actually watched a game with Messi involved, you’d know he wasn’t a diver. Thanks for proving every single stereotype about stupid ethnocentric ignorant Americans. We really needed that.

Posted from United States

By Dave | June 28th, 2007 at 5:59 am

Messi may be a great player, but he’s a diving, cheating little shit. What is it about South Americans and Southern Europeans that they feel it’s acceptable to dive and cheat in order to win. If you can get satisfaction from winning after cheating then you don’t understand the meaning and purpose of sport. Without rules, sport is war, and lets face it, you argies aren’t that good at war, remember the Falklands! P.S. We’ve got better houses than you!

By fab | June 28th, 2007 at 6:19 am

cause you make blogs with pics does not make you witty or clever

anyways one guy on here was talking about diving

and i agree with him i witnesed alot of diving so far

especially in the uruguay peru game…sweet jesus!

Posted from Canada

By Albo | June 28th, 2007 at 8:40 am

This whole thread that Carter started by calling Messi a scumbag really stinks.
And this is the USA blog.
Joke or not, it stinks to the point a very sick guys ends up saying:

>>> sport is war, and lets face it, you argies aren’t that good at war, remember the Falklands! P.S. We’ve got better houses than you!

We got better houses than you?????
What kind a crap is that as an argument on football? And how do you know so much about my house?

Are all the american bloggers in agreement with all this cheap propaganda?

Carter you are dead wrong associating Messi to Maradona.
Messi is not one bit like Maradona, look at his info a bit closer. your editorial type of “joke” is insulting.
And some of these bloggers who follow you, like Dave, prove my point.

Posted from United States

By Rune | June 28th, 2007 at 9:41 am

Hi, my friend. Get well soon! I will pray for you.

Posted from Norway

By Javi | June 28th, 2007 at 4:09 pm

And you remember vietnam.

Carter fucked by Tony Meola

By Juan Manuel Lobos | June 29th, 2007 at 8:25 am

CArter >> “Maradonat” fucking ingonorant,and he thinks he can talk about Messi…
Please take a look at your country you’ve got son many things to take care of
Like every fucking junkie,bad loser..

By Javi | June 29th, 2007 at 3:50 pm

maradonut was funny tough

Posted from Argentina

By Jon E | June 29th, 2007 at 5:31 pm

Joputa, la reacción de los argentinos que se ve aquí es algo feo. (Tanto como la de los estadounidenses que por alguna razón quieren hablar de guerra y dinero cuando hablamos del futból.)

Llego tarde a esta discusión, pero me siento obligado poner énfasis en lo que Carter dice arriba: EL ESTA BROMEANDO. No habla en serio. Ni quiere ni espera que estémos de acuerdo.

No sé si es por odio generalizado para con los EEUU o por dominio imperfecto sobre el inglés, pero la gran mayoría de argentinos aquí simplemente no se ha dado cuenta de eso. (Claro, dado la pésima calidad de mi español, simpatizo con cualquiera dificultad linguística.)

Nadie puede negar que Messi sea talentoso. Obviamente lo es. Yo lo sé, Carter lo sabe. Tu tía que vive en Los Angeles lo sabe…

Pero Messi le cae mal a Carter porque Carter cree que Messi se deja caer demasiado. Así que él ha escrito un polémico cómico acusandole a Messi de no sólo dejarse caer sino también de ser culpable de un montón de tonterías que netamente son tonterías. No me sorprende el que no le de risa a mucha gente. Yo tampoco reí mucho.

Pero, dicho eso, quisiera recordarles a mis compañeros argentinos de que Messi no es santo. No es el profeta Muhammed. Es jugador de futból. La rabia y la abusa que Carter ha provocado con su broma torpe demuestra una falta profunda de perspectiva y de sentido de humor.

Calménse, mis amigos argentinos. Su equipo acaba de destruir nuestros jovencitos anoche. Sus juagadores anotaron unos goles hermosos. Tomen unas cervezas y relájense, por diós.

Posted from United States

By David | June 30th, 2007 at 12:46 pm

Carter, keep it coming. Don’t bother reading anything by an Argentine. Their maturity level tops out at junior-high range. Just spent a few months in Buenos Aires and never got used to their xenophobia, racism, and pathetic inferiority complex (e.g. “We really aren’t Latin American. . . we’re more EUROPEAN.” Uh . . . yeah. . . okay. Your education system sucks, infrastructure can’t support a two-hour rain shower, and you SPEAK SPANISH, not Italian - although your Spanish is f*cked up.)

Carter, sigas escribiendo. No te preocupes lo que dicen los argentinos. Son niños y siempre serán así. Recien vivía en Bs As y nunca estaba acostumbrado al racismo y complejo de inferioridad de los porteños (por ejemplo, siempre me dijeron, “En realidad, no somos americanos latinos. . . somos más europeos” Uh. . . . bueno . . . dale. Su sistema de educacion es patetica, sus calles no pueden soportar ningun lluvia, y HABLAN CASTELLOÑO! aunque su castellaño es un quilombo.)

Posted from United States

By SOTO | July 12th, 2007 at 5:39 pm

You say you dont like him because he cheats, yet you probably adore barry bonds, and guys like jose conseco. what you, and the rest of you republicans need to do is open your eyes. the united states is not the only country in the world. sure, we’re a superpower, but that doesnt make us the best in the world, nor does it give you the right to criticize a mere 20 year old. open your eyes man. think..go to europe, or anywhere else in the world for that matter, and ask them about american football, they’ll look at you like a wierdo. or basketball, which is not as strange to them, but still. the most popular sport in the world is soccer, like it or not. it may not be here in the USA. but we’re only ONE country, not the whole world

By Jaizinho | April 11th, 2008 at 10:48 pm

I can’t wait till Argentina (and Messi specifically) waxes the United States’ ass on June 8th.

Typical American who doesn’t know sh*t about soccer commenting on a player he knows nothing about. Try following the sport a little deeper than just watching the highlights on GolTV and you’ll realize Messi is truly a genius.

What were you doing when you were 19 years old maggot? Def not scoring goals for Barca’s first team making millions. Go fuck yourself loser.

Posted from United States

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