The Biggest Little Scumbag in the Game

June 27th, 2007 | by: Carter Daly |

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I hate Lionel Messi with a fiery passion that haunts my soul at night.

It’s true.

Many say he is the next big thing, the next Maradonut, and that is only where his problems begin. First off there is nothing big about Messi at all. His height (5′7″) at this stage in his life legally qualifies him for all of the benefits of a garden gnome. He seems to take this stuff awfully serious too. He looks at the pillar of health that Maradona is as his role model and idol. Now I know sometimes it is hard to find good role models, but you gotta do better than that pal. Today hand ball goals, tomorrow, a cocaine induced heart attack.

(”When I grow up, I want to be a washed up cocaine burnout just like you!”)

It started with an ok goal against Getafe in the cup, but then, as I knew it would, lead to more serious issues. Case and point the disturbing disgrace (kind of like Messi himself) of the handball goal on the most pivotal day in La Liga. At one point it looked like that “little cheater” as the Gol TV announcer referred to him (I prefer shrimpy diving dirtball) would have won the title.

Ronaldihno -
(Ronaldihno – “Get this nancy boy away from me!”)

Or how about his swan dive against Chelsea in the champion’s league that would make Greg Louganis smile. Wasn’t that great? No. I have never seen a “great player” use the tactic of “Oh I will leave my feet like the ballerina reject that I am, than proceed to jump into the defender, while of course looking very brave in the fetal position, then I continue the presentation with the dramatic fall of a guy who was just took six bullets to the frontal lobe. After I have caused myself and my family this great embarrassment, I will cap it off by slowly rolling to the touch line with my face covered so they can’t see me laughing until I almost take out the legs of the refs assistant, this way he will know that I really got ‘hurt’ this time”.

Clearly still acting. Why does he take it this far?
(Clearly still acting. Why must he take it so far?)

By the way that is a direct quote from Messi after the incident. I think those files were destroyed though as to protect the source. The special one Jose Mourhino put it best when he said, “Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting.”

Why do I bring all of this up you ask? Well none other than Bob’s boys will be taking on this tiny Tinkerbelle in the first game of the Copa America, and I want to send a direct message to those that wear the stars and stripes…

Take his tiny ass out. He’ll get most of the going down part done himself, but get a good lick in. That means you Rico.

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fab

dont be scared you wont lose THAT bad
El Picky®

Please, you can only talk of Baseball, American Football, Basketball or Lacrosse (?). Not soccer please. Soccer is a real sport, you’ll never understand it
Funky Torino

Podio!!!

El que sigue debuto con Carter, y Carter debuto con Max Higgins.

Yanqui puto, anda a jugar al beisbol.
Native Son

Carter,

Your personal attack on Messi is quite telling.

There are literally hundreds of professional football players on this planet yet, you chose this little boy who no matter how you look at it, and no matter what you think of him, ranks among the top five best football players today without a doubt!

There is a reason as to why you went for him in a personal way- he is simply one of the best. …..and he is young and breathtakingly amazing!!

You don’t have to like him and frankly, the fact that you dislike him is your problem, not ours.

Deal with it.

Instead of trying (unsuccessfully) to destroy Messi, you should be building your own hero. That would make more sense.

Oh! One more thing before I am done; as much as you have every right to post anything on the internet, please spare us such drudgery in the future. We also have our opinion regarding Messi and for many of us, it is different from yours.

Messi is young, and he is great and there is nothing anyone can do about it. You should learn to deal with it.
princedesparcs

Citing Jose Mourhino as character witness won’t bolster anyone’s argument. Be that as it may, judging from Sunday’s spectacle, it seems your boy Ching has learned his own diva lesson pretty well. And it’s clear that your squad won’t play itself into a quality side — worth watching and respecting — if and until it can nurture players with the skill and grace of the type Messi possesses. Then again, maybe it’s easier to produce brutes and poseurs. Buena suerte.
Martin

jaja, you are a douche bag.

and you obviously have no understanding about football (along with most other Americans). Go eat some nachos in front of the tv, that is all people like you are good at.
Roberto

Yanqui forro hacete ortear
http://olemela.blogspot.com Fernando_S

Carter, what about american sports heroes like O.J Simpson?

Waste your time buying guns and being afraid of Arabian looking guys instead of writting about something you don’t know.

Ahora para los hispanoparlantes (?)
es obvio que Carter debutó con un pibe y le pega a la jermu.
te va a caber mañana por gato

que te haga 20 messi
messi’ll do you 20 goals
Albo

What a way to make a total fool of yourself, Carter.
You know nothing about Messi or about football.
bob saccamano

i think you had sex for the first time with a boy
Carter me la soba

Pintate un mechón, gringo domador de pijas !
http://worldcupblog.org Carter

haha, this is what I am talking about.

finally I find a way to stir up some feelings, I was beginning to think no one was reading.

Relax everybody, I know Messi is one of the best young talents out there and yada yada. With that said I still dont particularly like the kid. He has a good game, but the cheating gets me.

Take everything I write with a grain of salt. I do not intend for everything to be taken seriously.

But its about time people got fired up.
http://www.la-redo.net El Negro Guadalupe

Chupala la reconcha de tu madre!!! Yanquee hijo de un vagón lleno de putas con sida y gonorrea…

Hacete ortear por Bush y chupate la pija de Cobi Jones!!!

Hablá de otros deportes si al futbol nunca vas a aprender, hijo de remil puta…

la concha de tu tía!!!
El Negro Guadalupe

Chupala la reconcha de tu madre!!! Yanquee hijo de un vagón lleno de putas con sida y gonorrea…

Hacete ortear por Bush y chupate la pija de Cobi Jones!!!

Hablá de otros deportes si al futbol nunca vas a aprender, hijo de remil puta…

la concha de tu tía!!!
Albo

Hey Carter, mis paisanos are saying quite a few interesting things about you in this thread.
Try to get a translator, a male one if possible…
roger

I hate the diving. Isn’t this something that should have gone on for a year or two and then, the refs getting wise to it, faded from existence entirely? I don’t understand why it’s allowed to continue.

At any rate, you pissed some people off. One guy even has Bush and Cobi Jones doing something together in the same sentence. I don’t speak Spanish, but that can’t be good for anyone.
Steve

Wow, I guess many of these other commenters don’t have much of a sense of humor. Carter is obviously having a little fun at rival’s expense (calling his Getafe goal just “ok” should have been the most obvious tip off that this post wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously).

Anyway, great post, Carter. At least one reader shared a laugh with you. Here’s hoping the USA can accomplish the unlikely…
leo de la31

yankee obeso hijo de re mil putas hacete ortear x mil camellos propiedad de bin laden mal cojidos chupa pija de bill clinton!!
aguante river plate carajo!!!
vos seguis en tu casita yankee q pronto no van a poder salir de su pais xq nadie los quiere!!!
BIN LADEN

YANKEE CHUPA PIJA!!!
Q SABES DE FUTBOL VOS SI LO UNICO Q HACES ES COMER EN MC DONALS HIJO DE UNA REVERENDA PUTA SIDOSA.
OJALA Q BIN LADEN LES PONGA UNA BOMBA Y DESAPAREZCAN DE LA FAZ DE LA TIERRA LARVAS SON LA ESCORIA DE LA HUMANIDAD…
ME ZARPE PERO ES LO Q PIENSAN LA MAYORIA DEL MUNDO!!!
BIN LADEN

PUTO
J.V

este es el primo de tot*, no se puede ser tan hot dog(?).
J.V

los yankis son tan pobres que lo unico que tienen es guita. Este ademas es re pobre, comprate el antispam(?.
Al-Zarqawi

MALE PROSTITUTE YANKEE THEY ARE A SHIT AS NATION AND AS COUNTRY, SOON THEY WERE ERASING THEM OF THE ASPECT OF THE WORLD.
TRAGALECHE!!!
SWALLOWS MILK

MI INGLES ES CADA DIA MEJOR GRACIAS PROFESORA DE INGLES X ESTA TRADUCCION!!!
Al-Zarqawi

esta es una pequeña parte que traduje sobre lo q escribio este puto yankee!!
para todos los q no hablamos ingles y para que nos sirva para saber como piensa este obeso que esta atras de una computadora y quien sabe capaz q el dia de mañana agarra la 9mm de su papa y mata a todos sus compañeros!!
ojala se muera el solo.

“Odio a Lionel Messi con una pasión ardiente que atormenta mi alma de noche.
Es cierto.
Muchos dicen que él es la siguiente Maradona, y es sólo donde sus problemas comienzan. Primero no hay nada grande en Messi en absoluto. Su altura lo califica para todas las ventajas de ser un gnomo de jardín.
Él parece tomar esta materia terriblemente seria también. Él mira a Maradona como su modelo a imitar e ídolo.
Ahora sé que a veces es difícil de encontrar modelos a imitar buenos, pero usted tiene que hacer algo mejor que aquel amigo. el gol con la mano, mañana, una sobredosis de cocaína te producira un infarto.”

este yankee puto en la primer foto que esta maradona abrazando a messi puso esta frase:
(”cuándo crezco, quiero ser un adicto a la cocaína como usted! “)

bueno esta es solo la 1ra parte la 2da es mas fuerte!!
por favor dejen sus saludos al amigo yankee es este blog
Carter me la soba

Ok, let’s supose i belive you when you say: “He has a good game, but the cheating gets me”

The only reason why you’re talking about Football (I mean football, the one you play with your foot, not your hand, a helmet and a stupid power-ranger costume) is couse you’ve been cheated for several years by been ranked #4 at FIFA’as a marketing strategy.

The same strategy that makes you buy your Beckham’s t-shirt, mug, poster, ringtone and action figure.

But make no mistake, you don’t understand the game, you don’t feel football and that’s why you are not able to understand Messi’s quality.
MESSI

esta es una pequeña parte que traduje sobre lo q escribio este puto yankee!!
para todos los q no hablamos ingles y para que nos sirva para saber como piensa este obeso que esta atras de una computadora y quien sabe capaz q el dia de mañana agarra la 9mm de su papa y mata a todos sus compañeros!!
ojala se muera el solo.

“Odio a Lionel Messi con una pasión ardiente que atormenta mi alma de noche.
Es cierto.
Muchos dicen que él es la siguiente Maradona, y es sólo donde sus problemas comienzan. Primero no hay nada grande en Messi en absoluto. Su altura lo califica para todas las ventajas de ser un gnomo de jardín.
Él parece tomar esta materia terriblemente seria también. Él mira a Maradona como su modelo a imitar e ídolo.
Ahora sé que a veces es difícil de encontrar modelos a imitar buenos, pero usted tiene que hacer algo mejor que aquel amigo. el gol con la mano, mañana, una sobredosis de cocaína te producira un infarto.”

este yankee puto en la primer foto que esta maradona abrazando a messi puso esta frase:
(”cuándo crezco, quiero ser un adicto a la cocaína como usted! “)

bueno esta es solo la 1ra parte la 2da es mas fuerte!!
por favor dejen sus saludos al amigo yankee es este blog
.
MESSI

esta es una pequeña parte que traduje sobre lo q escribio este puto yankee!!
para todos los q no hablamos ingles y para que nos sirva para saber como piensa este obeso que esta atras de una computadora y quien sabe capaz q el dia de mañana agarra la 9mm de su papa y mata a todos sus compañeros!!
ojala se muera el solo.

“Odio a Lionel Messi con una pasión ardiente que atormenta mi alma de noche.
Es cierto.
Muchos dicen que él es la siguiente Maradona, y es sólo donde sus problemas comienzan. Primero no hay nada grande en Messi en absoluto. Su altura lo califica para todas las ventajas de ser un gnomo de jardín.
Él parece tomar esta materia terriblemente seria también. Él mira a Maradona como su modelo a imitar e ídolo.
Ahora sé que a veces es difícil de encontrar modelos a imitar buenos, pero usted tiene que hacer algo mejor que aquel amigo. el gol con la mano, mañana, una sobredosis de cocaína te producira un infarto.”

este yankee puto en la primer foto que esta maradona abrazando a messi puso esta frase:
(”cuándo crezco, quiero ser un adicto a la cocaína como usted! “)

bueno esta es solo la 1ra parte la 2da es mas fuerte!!
por favor dejen sus saludos al amigo yankee es este blog
.
http://dvdrgn.blogspot.com dvdrgn

Todo bien, pero de fútbol ni sota el yanqui éste. Andá a idolatrar a Cobi Jones, muerto de hambre…
pitobionico

che carter con tu post podes irte un poquito a la concha de tu madre!!!
http://www.escucharock.ar.gd/ kipzy

Axl rose said… why don’t you just… FUCK OFF!
http://www.escucharock.ar.gd/ kipzy

empalamiento para este muchacho en la 3ª base de una cancha de NY.. (?)
chuck

Your hate will not keep you warm at night.

I have a confession. I used to hate a different teenager with world-class talent: C.Ronaldo.

It seemed like whenever got within an arm’s length of him, he would dive.

But now, it appears that he has changed.

It is going to be an absolute joy watching him, as well as L.Messi, compete at the highest levels for the next 10-12-15 years.
ashudamistermusculo

Mueransé yanquis y la puta que los parió a todos.
Qué carajo saben de futbol usteden saqueadores y terroristas de mierda. Sigan hinchando las pelotas…ya nos vamos a encontrar.
Aplaudan aplaudan no dejen de aplaudir los aviones de Bin Laden que ya van venir.
Albo

Carter, aren’t you the same blogger who entitled a thread “I am an idiot” ?

Do you have any more ideas on how the fill up the web with trash?
http://copia.ogbuji.net Uche

Oh my, I think I just split my sides. The stream of Spanish abuse in these comments is an impressive mix of the hilarious and the blood-curdling. Seriously, I’ve always known Spanish was a great language for invective, but this is all just too delicious.

Carter, man, thanks. By playing piñata, you pretty much helped make my day.
http://worldcupblog.org Carter

Albo: To answer your questions..yes and yes.

Uche: Anytime pal
gilbo

this post is fcking pathetic, stupid ashole CARTER, you should be ban from this site yankee puto loser
Joe

Weak. Who put this guy in charge of the U.S.A. blog? All we’ve gotten so far is cliched red-blooded American hoo-ha.

And asking the players of your own team, whether in jest or not, to intentionally hurt another player is just classless.

The USMNT is getting better. Why’s this blog getting worse?
Native Son

Ok guys,

Enough with Carter.

Just leave the poor harpless soul alone.

He said that he was just joking. Joking?

I am not very convinced about that reading from his invective towards Messi but that said, let’s not beat on him like a rented mule.

I don’t speak Spanish and therefore do not know what most Argentineans said to Carter. I however hope it wasn’t too harsh. It is football afterall, the most beautiful game in the world that attracts a viewership of about 2 billion people during the World Cup. Nothing comes close.

Mr. Carter, no hard feelings.
Albo

Carter, I think you should apologize for what you’ve said above.
Thanks for your consideration.
http://france.worldcupblog.org Laurie

Your photo captions made me giggle.
Thierry

Carter,
Thanks you made me lol a lot. Great grace with your humor.
To the argentinians fans: don t take it seriously, it s a joke.
I must admit the argies commentaries made me giggle too. I don t know if you speak spanish Carter, but the less i could say is that they were passionate. They talked about rumors on the work of “your mothers”, and an inextricable and mysterious link behind them, Kobi Brian, G W Bush(the great), and you with some … how could i say…guess on your sexuality. All these beautiful and imaginative hints reffered to the historical smashing activities of the roman orgies.
I salute you all, you were the smile of my day.
P.S: The Kipzy Blog is very cool.
mightie

carter,
so you find fault in everything messi does what an ignorant u r.
messi’s wonderful goal against getafe which is ok for you… LOL!
there is no need to argue on this coz i can understand ur mental status LOL!
anyway no one cares what a retard thinks, keep it up there will be lot of messis coming to give u nightmares.
GOOOOO MEEESSSIIIII
Alexa

Just a little aside –

If you ever actually watched a game with Messi involved, you’d know he wasn’t a diver. Thanks for proving every single stereotype about stupid ethnocentric ignorant Americans. We really needed that.
Dave

Messi may be a great player, but he’s a diving, cheating little shit. What is it about South Americans and Southern Europeans that they feel it’s acceptable to dive and cheat in order to win. If you can get satisfaction from winning after cheating then you don’t understand the meaning and purpose of sport. Without rules, sport is war, and lets face it, you argies aren’t that good at war, remember the Falklands! P.S. We’ve got better houses than you!
fab

cause you make blogs with pics does not make you witty or clever

anyways one guy on here was talking about diving

and i agree with him i witnesed alot of diving so far

especially in the uruguay peru game…sweet jesus!
Albo

This whole thread that Carter started by calling Messi a scumbag really stinks.
And this is the USA blog.
Joke or not, it stinks to the point a very sick guys ends up saying:

>>> sport is war, and lets face it, you argies aren’t that good at war, remember the Falklands! P.S. We’ve got better houses than you!

We got better houses than you?????
What kind a crap is that as an argument on football? And how do you know so much about my house?

Are all the american bloggers in agreement with all this cheap propaganda?

Carter you are dead wrong associating Messi to Maradona.
Messi is not one bit like Maradona, look at his info a bit closer. your editorial type of “joke” is insulting.
And some of these bloggers who follow you, like Dave, prove my point.
Rune

Hi, my friend. Get well soon! I will pray for you.
Javi

And you remember vietnam.

Carter fucked by Tony Meola
Juan Manuel Lobos

CArter >> “Maradonat” fucking ingonorant,and he thinks he can talk about Messi…
Please take a look at your country you’ve got son many things to take care of
Like every fucking junkie,bad loser..
Javi

maradonut was funny tough
Jon E

Joputa, la reacción de los argentinos que se ve aquí es algo feo. (Tanto como la de los estadounidenses que por alguna razón quieren hablar de guerra y dinero cuando hablamos del futból.)

Llego tarde a esta discusión, pero me siento obligado poner énfasis en lo que Carter dice arriba: EL ESTA BROMEANDO. No habla en serio. Ni quiere ni espera que estémos de acuerdo.

No sé si es por odio generalizado para con los EEUU o por dominio imperfecto sobre el inglés, pero la gran mayoría de argentinos aquí simplemente no se ha dado cuenta de eso. (Claro, dado la pésima calidad de mi español, simpatizo con cualquiera dificultad linguística.)

Nadie puede negar que Messi sea talentoso. Obviamente lo es. Yo lo sé, Carter lo sabe. Tu tía que vive en Los Angeles lo sabe…

Pero Messi le cae mal a Carter porque Carter cree que Messi se deja caer demasiado. Así que él ha escrito un polémico cómico acusandole a Messi de no sólo dejarse caer sino también de ser culpable de un montón de tonterías que netamente son tonterías. No me sorprende el que no le de risa a mucha gente. Yo tampoco reí mucho.

Pero, dicho eso, quisiera recordarles a mis compañeros argentinos de que Messi no es santo. No es el profeta Muhammed. Es jugador de futból. La rabia y la abusa que Carter ha provocado con su broma torpe demuestra una falta profunda de perspectiva y de sentido de humor.

Calménse, mis amigos argentinos. Su equipo acaba de destruir nuestros jovencitos anoche. Sus juagadores anotaron unos goles hermosos. Tomen unas cervezas y relájense, por diós.
David

Carter, keep it coming. Don’t bother reading anything by an Argentine. Their maturity level tops out at junior-high range. Just spent a few months in Buenos Aires and never got used to their xenophobia, racism, and pathetic inferiority complex (e.g. “We really aren’t Latin American. . . we’re more EUROPEAN.” Uh . . . yeah. . . okay. Your education system sucks, infrastructure can’t support a two-hour rain shower, and you SPEAK SPANISH, not Italian – although your Spanish is f*cked up.)

Carter, sigas escribiendo. No te preocupes lo que dicen los argentinos. Son niños y siempre serán así. Recien vivía en Bs As y nunca estaba acostumbrado al racismo y complejo de inferioridad de los porteños (por ejemplo, siempre me dijeron, “En realidad, no somos americanos latinos. . . somos más europeos” Uh. . . . bueno . . . dale. Su sistema de educacion es patetica, sus calles no pueden soportar ningun lluvia, y HABLAN CASTELLOÑO! aunque su castellaño es un quilombo.)
SOTO

You say you dont like him because he cheats, yet you probably adore barry bonds, and guys like jose conseco. what you, and the rest of you republicans need to do is open your eyes. the united states is not the only country in the world. sure, we’re a superpower, but that doesnt make us the best in the world, nor does it give you the right to criticize a mere 20 year old. open your eyes man. think..go to europe, or anywhere else in the world for that matter, and ask them about american football, they’ll look at you like a wierdo. or basketball, which is not as strange to them, but still. the most popular sport in the world is soccer, like it or not. it may not be here in the USA. but we’re only ONE country, not the whole world
Jaizinho

I can’t wait till Argentina (and Messi specifically) waxes the United States’ ass on June 8th.

Typical American who doesn’t know sh*t about soccer commenting on a player he knows nothing about. Try following the sport a little deeper than just watching the highlights on GolTV and you’ll realize Messi is truly a genius.

What were you doing when you were 19 years old maggot? Def not scoring goals for Barca’s first team making millions. Go fuck yourself loser.