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Forest Whitaker is not Jozy Altidore

February 2nd, 2009 | By: Brooks Peck | No Comments »

This is pretty hilarious — the official 2009 USMNT yearbook asked some of the guys who should play their teammates in a movie of their life. After looking at the results, I think we should all be thankful that none of these guys are Hollywood casting directors. Some of the best:
-Steve Cherundolo says Boca should [...]

Rivers Cuomo Sings About Pat Noonan

December 7th, 2008 | By: Brooks Peck | 6 Comments »

Nick posted the above video in the comments of the Thursday Night News Nuggets post and I thought it was pretty funny, so here it is. The song, titled “My Day is Coming”, is off Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo’s new collection of solo work: Alone II: The Home Recordings.
Whether the song is entirely about the [...]

Google Translate to the Rescue?

November 27th, 2008 | By: Melissa | No Comments »

Pia Sundhage recently spoke to the Swedish site Damfotboll to confirm the new women’s professional league will be all sorts of “damproffsliga” come this Spring (apparently the translator missed that word). She also said the USWNT will work around the new league’s schedule (April to September) with “two pre-April collections.” She continued: “Before [...]

Free Kicks: Gooch Never Forgets

September 26th, 2008 | By: Brooks Peck | 4 Comments »

“Gooch? More like Cooch!”
Gooch remembered back to when Bob Bradley made that light-hearted quip at his expense on the team’s first day of training under their new manager. The rest of his teammates laughed. Gooch did not. Instead, he swore his revenge and waited until the time was right.
Now, almost two years later, as [...]

Free Kicks: Battle Of Wits

September 24th, 2008 | By: Brooks Peck | 4 Comments »

“Why are you wearing that while we play?” Landon asked.
“It’s my thinkin’ pillow. Anytime I bust out the Chess for Dummies I put on my thinkin’ pillow. So I can think.”
With that, Deuce went on to complete the rare quadruple jump. Upon demanding Landon king him, the plane hit a patch of turbulence, sending [...]

Come On, Everybody! Let’s Watch Some Stuff!

September 23rd, 2008 | By: Brooks Peck | 5 Comments »

The economy is already in the crapper, so why waste your time doing actual work? That’s like digging a grave for a dead guy — they’re already dead, they really don’t care if you put ‘em in the ground, on the hood of your car, or in the ball pit at your local Chuck E. [...]

Off The Pitch: Decisions

September 12th, 2008 | By: Brooks Peck | 17 Comments »

After yet another mediocre national team performance from Brian Ching (though it was highlighted by a fortuitous goal), many fans and critics are still wondering why Bob Bradley keeps selecting Ching over the second-leading goal scorer in MLS, Kenny “FrankenCooper” Cooper. To shed some light on the matter, here is a fictional account of how [...]

Pia Declined To Meet The President

August 29th, 2008 | By: Melissa | 8 Comments »

According to the Swedish website, SR International, our fearless leader just got a little more fearless as she recently declined an invitation to meet George Bush:

Pia Sundhage might have led the the US women’s team to Gold in the Beijing Olympics, but says she is not interested in going along to meet Bush with [...]

Off The Pitch: Best Friends Forever

August 25th, 2008 | By: Brooks Peck | 5 Comments »

It was recently reported that Jozy Altidore and new Villareal teammate Giuseppe Rossi have become “inseparable friends” since Altidore joined the Spanish club earlier this summer. The following is a fictional conversation between the rising American star and the only Italian national from North Jersey.
Jozy and Guiseppe sit in the Villareal locker room playing [...]

USA vs The Kiwis preview

August 12th, 2008 | By: Melissa | No Comments »

I had a grand plan to write the Moby Dick of World Cup Blog posts: addressing the USWNT’s dreaded midfield issues, their sometimes maybe somewhat overuse of long balls, and what exactly is up with Aly Wagner these days? But it will have to happen another time cause I’m wrapping up some loose ends [...]


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