“Gooch? More like Cooch!”

Gooch remembered back to when Bob Bradley made that light-hearted quip at his expense on the team’s first day of training under their new manager. The rest of his teammates laughed. Gooch did not. Instead, he swore his revenge and waited until the time was right.

Now, almost two years later, as he watched Bradley speak to reporters ahead of the team’s first match in Cuba in since 1947, Gooch knew the time for vengeance had come. But how to do it? There were many ways – knives, rope, toilet drowning, bare-handed death grip. No matter which option he decided upon, Gooch knew two things:

1) He would have the last laugh.

2) Bob Bradley would be dead by morning.

[Photo: © U.S. Soccer/USSoccer.com]

Free Kicks is a new feature (another one!) that takes a real picture and adds a fictional little story to it. If so inclined, give it a shot yourself in the comments below.

“Why are you wearing that while we play?” Landon asked.

“It’s my thinkin’ pillow. Anytime I bust out the Chess for Dummies I put on my thinkin’ pillow. So I can think.”

With that, Deuce went on to complete the rare quadruple jump. Upon demanding Landon king him, the plane hit a patch of turbulence, sending the pieces to the floor. Neither player could remember exactly where each piece had been, so Landon suggested they reset and start over.

Frustrated by the prospect of having to once again go through the trouble of matching each piece with the corresponding picture on the board, Deuce announced it was time for a “thinkin’ nap” and immediately began snoring, even before shutting his eyes.

He eventually fell asleep exactly three minutes later.

[Photo: © U.S. Soccer/USSoccer.com]

Free Kicks is a new feature (another one!) that takes a real picture and adds a fictional little story to it. If so inclined, give it a shot yourself in the comments below.

Programming Note: Carter has been busy lately, but he’ll be back Thursday with some, uh, real stuff for you.