Drink Your Face Off, Michael

Michael Bradley celebrated his 21st birthday today. If you forgot to get him something, don’t worry — I sent him a stripper in a cake and said it was from all of us (by the way, you don’t have to put air holes in those cakes do you? The trip from Philly to China is pretty short, right?). So while Michael is surely Jagerbombing his way through Hong Kong tonight, I offer the video below to honor this momentous occasion.

Before viewing, though, please note that this may be one of the strangest highlight reels ever assembled. Prepare yourself for:

-A shot of Ronaldinho on the ground and spread eagle to start things off (this is oddly fitting, though).
-A techno version of the “Knight Rider” theme song playing throughout the entire video.
-A handful of broken plays mixed in just to keep you on your toes.
-The time when Bradley tried to murder half the Uruguayan team in the U-20 World Cup.

Now that I’ve ruined all the surprises (or did I?), enjoy…