Off The Pitch: Awards!

US Soccer is holding their annual awards for everything from player achievement to best soccer blog (I’m sure you already know which soccer blogs you’re going to nominate by sending an email to centercircle@ussoccer.org) and as with any awards, some people are taking it very seriously. The following is a fictional account of how a couple members of the US MNT are handling it.

Freddy Adu reads about 2008 Best of US Soccer Awards, slams laptop shut.

Adu: This is bullspit.

Calls Bob Bradley. It rings.

Adu: Answer the phone! I used to date JoJo!

The ringing stops, there’s a fumbling sound.

Bradley: (groggy) Hello?

Adu: This is bullspit! I deserve the awards!

Bradley: What awards? Who is this? It’s…4 in the morning.

Adu: American Pele! Respect The Adu!

Bradley: (sits up) Oh. Hi, Freddy — I told you there’s a time difference between France and America, so you have to be careful when you call… How are you?

Adu: I’m flunkin’ pissed!

Bradley: I know. But if you keep practicing hard, Monaco will start giving you the time you deserves and you’ll get your goals. Just like Jozy. Maybe they’ll even loan you out like Villareal might with Joze.

Adu: Funk that spit, I’m talkin’ about the awards!

Bradley: What awards?

Adu: The 2008 Best of US Soccer Awards! I was readin’ about all this nominatin’ and votin’ spit! That’s poop. Those awards are mine! American Pele! Respect The Adu!

Bradley: Well, like I keep telling you about your playing situation, you just have to be patient, Fred — (call waiting beep) hold on one second, Freddy, I have another call…

Adu: Respec –

Bob switches to the other call.

Bradley: Hello?

Nurse: Hi, this is Nurse Betty at Sisters of Mercy Hospital.

Bradley: Oh God, did Michael stab someone with a cell phone again?

Nurse: Um, no. We have a…Brian Ching in the emergency room here and he has you listed as his emergency contact.

Bradley: Ok, what’s wrong?

Nurse: Well, nothing, really. He wandered in by himself and he was very upset because one of the stickers peeled off his helmet, so he was worried that now it wouldn’t protect him when he falls, which apparently happens quite often.

Bradley: Ok. So why did you call me?

Nurse: Well, he said he had to talk to you and I felt bad for him, so I told him I would. I’m sorry, I know it’s very early in the morning. Here he is –

Ching: Hi, coach!

Bradley: Hi, Brian, how are you?

Ching: I’m good. My helmet broke, but the nurse fixed it for me.

Bradley: Good…so why are you calling?

Ching: Oh! I heard about those US Soccer awards and I think there’s a good chance I will win them because I scored so many goals for the national team!

Bradley: Uh, yes, I guess that could happen.

Ching: That would be cool!

Bradley: Sure.

Nurse: (in the background) Oh my, your nose is bleeding!

Ching: Haha, yeah, it does that sometimes.

Bob Bradley hangs up, goes back to sleep.