Obama Writes to Blatter, Gets Whatever He Wants

April 14th, 2009 | by: Brooks Peck |

Originally posted at Dirty Tackle…

The decision on who will host the 2018 World Cup has been made, the US has it, so everyone can go ahead and drop their bids now. It’s done.

Granted, no official announcement has been made, but that doesn’t matter. With the confident stroke of his majestic pen, Barack Obama — President of the United States and god among men — expressed his support for the US bid for the 2018 World Cup in a letter to FIFA president Sepp Blatter. Lets see how long it takes him to make us weep tears of warmth and join hands:

“As a child, I played soccer on a dirt road in Jakarta, and the game brought the children of my neighborhood together.”

Done! Oh, Barack, you had us at “as”.

“As a father, I saw that same spirit of unity alive on the fields and sidelines of my own daughters’ soccer games in Chicago.

“Soccer is truly the world’s sport, and the World Cup promotes camaraderie and friendly competition across the globe. That is why this bid is about much more than a game. It is about the United States of America inviting the world to gather all across our great country in celebration of our common hopes and dreams.”

Hope! Dreams! Yes We Can!

Upon reading the letter, Blatter is rumored to have breathlessly uttered, “I want to have his babies.”

[Source: The Guardian]

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Seth

Yes! I hope this works!
Weston

Obama + Soccer/Football = Awesome!!!!!
David

Obama + 1 = Awesome?
Nick

Good news (I think). Tom Rongen will not be the reason we lose Mikkel Diskerud. Rongen invited him to camp. Diskerud had to turn him down because of club commitments.
Weston

david, what?
Rob

if soccer=football
then soccer/football = 1
simple math, really
Ray

I’m with you Weston. American “Soccer” does not equal “Football” in the rest of the world. I’d say Soccer (1) / Football (20) = about .05. So it would be Obama + .05 = Awesome. Or, to put it another way, Obama’s not quite awesome…comes up just short.

(Not trying to make this a political thing, just find it amazing that every time David sees a “/” he’s thinking about math. Hard to believe. Maybe it’s just me…)
Weston

wow, way to overthink everything. I was just saying if you add Obama (who is awesome) to football or soccer as he calls it (which is also awesome) it is pretty cool. I would love to see the WC here b/c I was too young to see it in 1994, and i think to have president that appreciates football will end up having more of an effect than Becks’ little stint here.
http://fm2.theoffside.com Mike

Obama makes me want to vomit.
Brooks Peck

Really, Mike? You thought that was a productive and/or worthwhile comment? Must be fun being you.
seawolfchile

This is as bad as the owner of the Steelers thanking Obama when receiving the super bowl trophy.
But another world cup in the US is great.
I just hope Obama doesn’t offer to pay the whole bill, and then apologize to the world for calling the game soccer, etc.
Brooks Peck

The Steelers thanked Obama when receiving the Super Bowl trophy? That’s horrible. How dare they be proud of their country’s president!! Anti-American scum, that’s what they are.